FYI

Whenever a friendship ends, no matter what the circumstances, I still grieve for what's been lost. Even if it ends in betrayal and abuse, I still feel sad. Maybe that's a fault of mine, maybe it's a strength - who knows...
I have many faults and weaknesses of my own. I do however, have very high standards when it comes to behaviour towards others. Respect, empathy, honesty and love for people, animals and the environment are things I treasure.


So, there's some stuff people should know about me, if they're going to call me a friend.

I'm an incredibly tolerant person. By that I mean I truly believe that everyone is entitled to their beliefs, loves, fears, religions, quirks, habits and sense of humour. (Unless you're a racist, sexist bigot, but then we wouldn't be friends anyway.) I may not share those things with you, but I'll certainly respect them (and expect you to do the same in return). The things that make us different are sometimes the things that make us interesting. What I don't mean by tolerant is, yeah go ahead, take advantage of my good nature and fuck me over.

I'm a very loyal friend. I've got your back. It would be nice to think you'll have mine too. My number one loyalty however is, and always will be, to my best friend, my husband. Nothing and no-one can or will ever make me do anything to hurt, manipulate, deceive or trick him. Don't EVER ask me to - you'll be making a big mistake. Whatever you tell me, you're telling him too. We share all our secrets, we read each other's emails, we know each other's passwords. It's me and him against the world - or that's how it often feels.

I dislike confrontation intensely. I'll do pretty much anything to avoid it (see above). I will defend my point of view and beliefs though. I'll tolerate a lot from people (more than most people you'll meet), but if you do something that I find fundamentally immoral, expect me to speak up. Don't mistake my lack of debate as acceptance of your views. Some things simply aren't worth debating. I won't try to change you - don't try to change me.

I'm WAY too emotional for my own good. I cry at films, books, songs, soap operas, people, views, memories - you name it. I get emotionally involved with my friends. I'm not into those slap on the back, shallow, only there when times are good friendships. I'll want to know how you are, who you are, how you feel and what's going on in your head. Don't mistake my emotions for weakness.

I'm generous - maybe not always with money, but my time is always available for my friends. I'll do whatever I can to help a friend, whether it's a non-judgemental shoulder to cry on or ear to bend, or something more tangible. I give freely of myself, it's the only thing I have to give freely.

So with all that stuff going on, you'd think things would be plain sailing, wouldn't you? Funny that. It seems that some people see my tolerance as me being a push-over, my acceptance of others as me being an easy target and my loyalty as an excuse to take the piss.
One thing you should remember. I'll do all of that stuff above, BUT, if you ever fuck with me or someone I love, it'll be the only chance you get. If you're not a decent human being then I don't want to know you and I WILL cut you out of my life - cold.

• Life is WAY too short. Surround yourself with people you love and who love you back. 
• Think about how what you're about to say will make the other person feel - before you say it. Never say things you don't mean, even (and especially) in anger.
• Remember to look up and enjoy the sky, the trees, the landscape. Listen to bird song, waterfalls and music. Be creative, paint, draw, play, sing. 
• Don't be a victim of life - it's what you make of it. If you're not happy or fulfilled, CHANGE things. Only you can do this. Don't wait for someone else, you'll be disappointed.

The wee man done good

A friend and ex-colleague, who quit his job to go and sit on Scottish hilltops looking at birds (sorry, "surveying wildlife") is also, it turns out, a rather bloody good writer. Who knew?

His first novel "In Many Ways" was a highly entertaining story of scumbags in Glasgee, violence and bad language. All my favourite things! It's a download only book, available from Amazon. 1,000 downloads and counting. It's less than a quid - go, buy it.

Pete's second novel will be released on 10th March 2012. It's called "Pandora's Pitbull" and I can vouch for it right off the bat. I was lucky enough to be asked to proof-read the book, which I gladly did, so I've had a good preview. No doubt the finished story will be a bit different from the one I read, what with inevitable amendments, re-writes - the usual stuff that editing involves, so I look forward to reading it all over again.

Follow Pete's blog and you can read the stuff that spills out of his heed too.
http://petercarroll.ravencrestbooks.com/

Biryani and back fat

For the few people who don't know already, I'm on a diet. I've been doing Weightwatchers since August 2011. In those 7 months I've lost just over 3 stone (that's about 30 lbs for my American readers). I've also reduced my waist by 13 inches! I've had to abandon several pairs of trousers because they're too big now, and I had to buy a new belt because I ran out of holes to tighten the old one up by. My bras just hold my boobs now, instead of my boobs plus a load of icky back fat. Things aren't constantly trying to escape any more.
This is ALL good.

There's still a long way to go, but I'm getting there.

The main change I've made to my diet is avoiding eating crap. I have a messed up love/hate relationship with food. The only way it works for me is abstinence. I'm just not capable of moderation. It's taken every single bit of my will power to walk past the constant supply of biscuits, cakes, doughnuts, chocolates and sweets at work and not dive in. It's strategically placed so I have to walk past it to get away from my desk. It's not been easy, but I know me and I know my total lack of control. I'm really proud of what I've achieved so far. It hasn't been easy, yet it has...

The easy part has been working with the Weightwatchers points system. Once you get into it, it becomes second nature. Admittedly, you do have to get a little bit obsessed - one might even say anal. It's the best way to make it work. If you're prepared to 'get with the programme' it does work. I find myself looking at a chocolate digestive now and thinking 'it's not worth it' because it'll mean my options for dinner will be limited.

So I've changed the way I cook too. I measure things. It's all about portion control. The good news is I'm not sitting around hungry all the time. It takes a little work and a little imagination, but I'm a good cook and I'm really good at winging it and making stuff up as I go along. It mostly turns out well. The problem is usually trying to remember what I did, when I try something new.
So, in that spirit, here's tonight's recipe for vegetable biryani. I'd had a bit of a relapse today and at a bag of crisps and 4 biscuits, so I only had 10 points left for dinner. Yikes! That's not many points. But I managed to pull this delicious meal out of the bag and it's so tasty and filling, for only 10 points that I want to remember how I made it - and share it with you.

If, like me, you love curry, this is a great way to get a curry hit, without breaking the points bank.
Great for vegetarians and vegans too.

Vegetable biryani (serves 2)
180g basmati rice
100g frozen mixed vegetables (I used a mixture of peas, sweetcorn, carrot, red pepper & brocolli)
1/2 tsp olive oil
6 mushrooms - quartered
6 cherry tomatoes - sliced
2 cloves garlic - finely chopped
1 medium onion - chopped
A few sultanas

Make spicy curry stock with:
600ml boiling water
Vegetable stock cube
1 tsp garam masala
1/2 tsp each of chilli powder, cumin, coriander, turmeric, hot paprika, mustard seeds
1tsp tomato puree

Grease an ovenproof dish or bowl with the olive oil.
Place the rice in the dish, followed by the onion, garlic, mushrooms, mixed veg, sultanas and sliced tomatoes.
Pour over the stock.
Cook uncovered for 40 minutes at 200C (or until rice is cooked and all the stock has been absorbed).
Stir half way through cooking.

I like my food quite spicy. Cut down on the chilli powder if you prefer yours on the milder side.
You can really play around with this recipe. Try different veggies, or you could add some chunks of pineapple and flaked almonds if you want. You could also use a couple of teaspoons of curry paste instead of all the dried spices.