FYI

Whenever a friendship ends, no matter what the circumstances, I still grieve for what's been lost. Even if it ends in betrayal and abuse, I still feel sad. Maybe that's a fault of mine, maybe it's a strength - who knows...
I have many faults and weaknesses of my own. I do however, have very high standards when it comes to behaviour towards others. Respect, empathy, honesty and love for people, animals and the environment are things I treasure.


So, there's some stuff people should know about me, if they're going to call me a friend.

I'm an incredibly tolerant person. By that I mean I truly believe that everyone is entitled to their beliefs, loves, fears, religions, quirks, habits and sense of humour. (Unless you're a racist, sexist bigot, but then we wouldn't be friends anyway.) I may not share those things with you, but I'll certainly respect them (and expect you to do the same in return). The things that make us different are sometimes the things that make us interesting. What I don't mean by tolerant is, yeah go ahead, take advantage of my good nature and fuck me over.

I'm a very loyal friend. I've got your back. It would be nice to think you'll have mine too. My number one loyalty however is, and always will be, to my best friend, my husband. Nothing and no-one can or will ever make me do anything to hurt, manipulate, deceive or trick him. Don't EVER ask me to - you'll be making a big mistake. Whatever you tell me, you're telling him too. We share all our secrets, we read each other's emails, we know each other's passwords. It's me and him against the world - or that's how it often feels.

I dislike confrontation intensely. I'll do pretty much anything to avoid it (see above). I will defend my point of view and beliefs though. I'll tolerate a lot from people (more than most people you'll meet), but if you do something that I find fundamentally immoral, expect me to speak up. Don't mistake my lack of debate as acceptance of your views. Some things simply aren't worth debating. I won't try to change you - don't try to change me.

I'm WAY too emotional for my own good. I cry at films, books, songs, soap operas, people, views, memories - you name it. I get emotionally involved with my friends. I'm not into those slap on the back, shallow, only there when times are good friendships. I'll want to know how you are, who you are, how you feel and what's going on in your head. Don't mistake my emotions for weakness.

I'm generous - maybe not always with money, but my time is always available for my friends. I'll do whatever I can to help a friend, whether it's a non-judgemental shoulder to cry on or ear to bend, or something more tangible. I give freely of myself, it's the only thing I have to give freely.

So with all that stuff going on, you'd think things would be plain sailing, wouldn't you? Funny that. It seems that some people see my tolerance as me being a push-over, my acceptance of others as me being an easy target and my loyalty as an excuse to take the piss.
One thing you should remember. I'll do all of that stuff above, BUT, if you ever fuck with me or someone I love, it'll be the only chance you get. If you're not a decent human being then I don't want to know you and I WILL cut you out of my life - cold.

• Life is WAY too short. Surround yourself with people you love and who love you back. 
• Think about how what you're about to say will make the other person feel - before you say it. Never say things you don't mean, even (and especially) in anger.
• Remember to look up and enjoy the sky, the trees, the landscape. Listen to bird song, waterfalls and music. Be creative, paint, draw, play, sing. 
• Don't be a victim of life - it's what you make of it. If you're not happy or fulfilled, CHANGE things. Only you can do this. Don't wait for someone else, you'll be disappointed.